Bull Frog Toes - Adventures and Stories: Dolly Sods West Virginia - Wild and Wonderful

It was finally time for a local hike. Local being without the presence of dispiriting airports and TSA agents giving some of us older fellas the bewildered look when they find the unexplained low hanging fruit in our trousers - the final drop of the bags as it were. So with the agreement from the potential "plum smugglers" we decided on a place we had heard of that was quite usual for our latitude. A high plateau of sylvan glory, windswept meadows and mucky bogs that is more likely to be found much farther north in say Canada, eh. We chose the Dolly Sods, West Virginia.

To add to the fun of this trip, and challenge our already suspect footing as wobbly old men, the area, affectionately call the Sods, is also an abandoned WWII artillery range (complete with un-exploded ordinance). Perhaps the Wild in Wild and Wonderful West Virginia lends itself to this motif. So in keeping with our mootable standard of hiking only in wilderness areas, the Dolly Sods Wilderness area fit the bill. 17,000 acres of wilderness, crumbly sandstone formations, sphagnum bogs, and the very remote possibility of loosing a leg to something other than a bear.

The Sods is only about 3 hours from the DC area, compliments of the great Appalachian Corridor H project. A project designed to bring more people into harms way by quicker access to the leg-breaking ski resorts of Canaan Valley and the sphagnum that may hide the waiting antique ordinance. I found myself lost in net neutrality one evening in my study of the words sphagnum and ordinance. But in the end, sphagnum won the short lexical battle in my bean sized brain - what was sphagnum anyway? Apparently it can be bisexual. I googled it so it must be true. To that extent - it is just peat moss.

Flavor Flav and Uncle Milty

For this trip, Flyrod and I gathered some new characters, not from central casting, but from the land of misfit adventurists. The first new member – and newly named for this trip – is our dual citizenship (Irish and American) anglophile who shall now be called - Flavor Flav - Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Back in the mid 80s when the group Public Enemy formed -one notable rapper front man named William Drayton (Flavor Flav) surfaced with a large clock on a chain around his neck - it was his trademark look; that and his lavish gold teeth grill-work. Our "William" Lawrence, who had recently completed a prestigious outdoor survival course at Georgetown University, arrived fully prepared to help us all find our way by sporting a large compass around his neck. Enough said.

Flavor Flav 🕓

The next new member was Uncle Milty. For you younger readers, Uncle Milty historically refers to Milton Berle – a cross dressing womanizing actor-comedian with a devilish smile from TV’s golden era. I don’t know if there is more to add. Our Milt already came with his nickname, his own devilish smile, and similar rapacious behavior. Plus, he did mention that he had on silk socks - so it is a befitting name. He is a great one to have on the trip - always full of cheer and great stories.

Uncle Milty - Fuzzy in the head as always

So there we were, a band of misfits ready to dance with the devil and bisexual sphagnum with ordinance at our feet. Our plan was not too difficult. Similar to our other hikes, we would park a car at one end, the Blackbird Knob (TR511) trail head, and end the trip the next day with another car parked at the southern end of Red Creek (TR514) trail head. All the trails in the Sods come with both a name and a number. Since there are a manifold of 19 trails to chose from, all crisscrossing the Sods in every direction and variation of interests, it is a great place for every type of hiker.

The Hearts of the Old and Young

I think the frisson of excitement for the trip was probably the thought of pre-hike festivities in the small town of Davis, WV. It is filled with inescapable places for food and drink. There are also four or maybe now five microbreweries in Davis and Thomas combined. Thomas being just a couple miles farther west of Davis. I will give a shout out to Hellbenders and Sirianni's Cafe for food. Two of the notable micro-brewers are Stumptown Ales and Mountain State Brewing - both have good beers and great vibes. Lucky for us, our base camp staging area would be a night's stay at a wonderful townhome in Deerfield Village owned by Bloodworm - of C&O towpath fame.

Having this base camp would give us the opportunity to get an early start the next day provided we kept our imbibing to a reasonable limit and, as we did, run from the local elderly woman who stared at us "young" bucks with malevolent mountain lust. In one establishment, a coven of them expressed their desire to make us their young swains. This stood the hair up on my neck. I found myself somewhere betwixt panic and fear and I am not embarrassed to say I ran like a beaten dog. I think it was their loose fitting upper dentures, the wispy scent of menthol deep-heating rub, and the cigarette smell emanating from their teddy bear embroidered sweaters. The poverty level of their desirability was well below what was allowed by state law, even in WV. Flyrod and Uncle Milty had a good laugh at my expense and were shocked I wanted to leave. In the meantime, Flavor Flav had his own autumn- spring relationship budding with the octogenarian running the Tucker County information desk - he beamed all weekend regaling us with the knowledge she held - he was anxious to see her again after the hike. 😲

Plan of Attack

The group decided at the onset that we would split when Red Creek (TR514) – northern terminus – intersected with the east to west Blackbird Knob (TR511). Flyrod and Flavor Flav would head south and find a nice spot at the Red Creek camping area a mile or so away – I think they had a rap song they were working on. Red Creek camping area is very popular and the best sites are for those who arrive early. Uncle Milty and I would continue west toward Timberline Ski resort that borders the western side of the Sods then pick up Breathed Mountain (TR553) and circle back up (TR514) to find them. We wanted some more miles and to enjoy the open meadows of the upper Sods.

Topo and Trail Map - We were on 511 - Right to Left

Flyrod reviewing the maps.

The trails of the Sods are very well marked – and well worn. It is a popular area. There is a lot of water here so expect some mud on the trails. It is after you encounter some mud that you will experience the clever destructiveness of hikers who don’t want to get their feet wet or muddy. There usually are two trails in low areas – they are either both dry or one, the lowest one, will be filled with muddy water and a variety of detritus the hiker has found to throw into the mud; used as an archipelago to step across to the other side.

Campsites are also very abundant. There are really nice ones, with great tent sites, tucked into the shade with oversized Flintstone style furniture assembled from immense chucks of rock. And of course the requisite fire pit as the center of the universe. Flyrod and Flavor Flav would find us such a site.

The start of the hike was great – flat, easy hiking with some nice clear crisp streams to cross and cool primordial woods. We made good time –arrived a bit after noon at the Red Creek trail. We dropped packs and enjoyed the cool of the shade by lounging about on the large rocks. We were enjoying some snacks when out of the woods came a very sturdy looking Nordic alpine princess, sans dirndl, with a troop of young hikers in tow. They moved quickly away from us and down the trail upon seeing such a despicable sight – think basking elephant seals. One of the kids said something to the princess like, “Heidi, ya, what’s wrong with those girlie men?”